The surface of the water shines, and it's clear that no man or animal has disturbed the pool in many years. If you ever come across a place like this, run. It's obviously a trap. Sadly, Narcissus doesn't know it's a trap.
He kneels in the grass, stretching out his hands for a drink, and BAM. He catches sight of his reflection in the water and falls completely in love. Remember what Tiresias said at the beginning of the story? At first Narcissus isn't smart enough to realize that the guy in the water is his reflection. Although, in all fairness, the ancient Greek world was full of some weird stuff. Maybe he thought he was looking at a water spirit or something. In any case, he really wants to get his hands on his new love.
He lowers his head and tries to kiss the image. He dips his arms into the pool and tries to grasp it. Nothing works, obviously. Confused, Narcissus starts talking to his reflection. He tries to convince it to love him by explaining how many nymphs and young girls have fallen for him. FYI: this is not a good strategy. Of course, Narcissus is just babbling at his reflection, so it doesn't really matter. Narcissus grows hungry, but his obsession with the figure in the water keeps him from moving.
Sound familiar? Something very similar just happened to Echo if you remember… He smiles, and the figure smiles. He speaks, and the figure seems to be speaking. Come on, Narcissus, figure this one out. At first, Narcissus takes these as signs that the figure likes him. But slowly and painfully, he realizes that the figure is just his reflection. Wah wah. You would think at this point that he would just get up and walk off.
He is literally so obsessed with himself that he chooses to stay and die. According to Ovid, Narcissus wastes away from hunger, much like Echo.
Other versions of the myth say that he stabbed himself. Ovid's version is nicer, but dead is dead. In a moment of cheesy dramatics, Narcissus rips off his shirt and beats on his chest like a gorilla. And here's where it gets really good. Yep, Echo is there to watch him die. Narcissus cries out one last lament—"Farewell, dear boy. Beloved in vain"—and Echo repeats these words as Narcissus lies down in the grass and dies.
As you might have guessed, young girls and nymphs all over the world mourn the death of Narcissus. Together they build a pyre a big pile of wood so that they can burn his body. This poignant myth crystallizes the tragic problem of relationships with narcissists. Sadly, both partners are locked into a painful drama, where neither feel satisfied or sufficiently loved.
Narcissus was a handsome hunter who broke the hearts of the many women. Despite their love, he remained aloof and arrogant. Pridefully, he held them in disdain. Meanwhile, the beautiful forest nymph Echo had incurred the ire of the goddess Juno, who punished Echo for talking too much by depriving her of free expression.
From then on, she could only repeat the last words of others. Echo spotted Narcissus and became infatuated. She longed for his attention, but he was fixated on himself. May I die before you enjoy my body. Nevertheless, her love for Narcissus grew. To punish Narcissus for his arrogance, Nemesis, the goddess of revenge, put a spell on him. When Narcissus next noticed his reflection in a pool of water, love overtook him.
As the years passed, she lost her youth and beauty pining away for unattainable Narcissus until she wasted away, only leaving behind her echoing voice. He eventually committed suicide, consumed by his impossible love, leaving a flower in his place.
Despite their seemingly strong personality, narcissists are actually very vulnerable underneath their protective armor. Vulnerable feelings, especially shame, sadness, and fear, are relegated to their unconscious. They have disdain for them or any sign of weakness, which arouses fears of being controlled or humiliated.
Thus, to feel sad or lonely evokes their need for someone, which would expose them to hurt, rejection, and feeling inferior. They attempt to eliminate these uncomfortable feelings by demonstrating independence, courage, and strength — ideals with which they identify.
Like the myth, narcissists feel superior to others, yet depend upon them to reflect back a positive self-image. Surprisingly, most narcissists are codependent , too. They dread being considered a fraud, having their shortcomings revealed, their opinions or authority questioned, or their self-esteem or pride tarnished.
They will do what it takes to prop up their image and block negative feedback. In their arrogance, they can be dismissive and rude, including projecting their shortcomings on others, criticizing and belittling them or unleashing their narcissistic rage. They may embarrass family and friends with their boasting or obnoxious sense of entitlement, such as monopolizing the conversation and interrupting. To obtain what they want, they may exploit others, regardless of the consequences.
Not everyone who falls for a narcissist is like Echo, but those who stay resemble her — a stereotypical codependent who sacrifices his or her own needs to accommodate others. Whereas Narcissus is overly self-absorbed, Echo is overly other-absorbed. The son of the river god Cephissus and the naiad, or nymph, Liriope, it was said that Narcissus would live to old age, if he never looked at himself. He had gained many female admirers, entranced by his beauty, but he rejected them all.
One of them, Echo, was so upset by his rejection that she withdrew from the world to waste away. All that was left of her was a whisper. It was heard by the goddess Nemesis, who, in response, made Narcissus fall in love with his own reflection, at which he stared until he died.
A narcissus flowered in his absence.
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